“Does My Butt Look Big?”

Today’s post is a little off the specific subject of The 17 Day Diet but still addresses an issue I think we’ve all dealt with at one time or another.  It’s meant to be a humerous little respite from dieting and concerns one of the reasons why we diet.  Tomorrow we’ll return to our regularly scheduled program.  I also want to put up a poll on who is interested in maybe posting some of our “BEFORE” photos and how you’d prefer them posted.  We could post them from the neck down or the next down with our faces blacked out or the full monty if that’s your choice.  I’m hoping to post a poll in the next time or two I just havent’ had time to put it togher!

By the way I love the ladies (and a couple of guys) who are here! 

In the meantime if you have a question about the 17 Day Diet book please feel free to email me and I’ll do my best to answer it tomorrow or the following day.  I’m also working on a giveaway for later this week so stay tuned!

And now, back to “Does My Butt Look Big”

Does My Butt Look Big?

Every woman I know will try just about anything and everything to achieve the shrinkage – if not total elimination – of their butt. Herbal wraps, massage, steam baths, rubber suits, vibrating belts, butt lifts and liposuction are just some of the ways woman use to fight overeating, under-exercising, age and gravity.  Since only a few women in history have actually succeeded in totally making their rears disappear (Victoria Beckham, Kate Moss, and Calista Flockhart) the remaining female population has become obsessed by the width, breadth, and girth of their bottoms.  “Does My Butt Look Big Syndrome” is unique in that it will touch virtually every woman in the world at some point in her life.  Fat or thin, big boned or small, pear shaped or apple, “Does My Butt Look Big Syndrome” does not discriminate.  This is what makes it such an insidious and devastating disorder.

Victims of “Does My Butt Look Big Syndrome” are filled with insecurities.  Making things worse is a woman’s constant need do compare their butt to every other woman’s butt in the universe. As an example of this here is a transcript from a group-therapy session recorded at the Women’s Center for Holistic Buttock Acceptance in Berkeley, California.  These patients had been admitted to the center’s thirty day rehabilitation program, called “Loving your Buttocks.” 

Their names have been changed to protect their identities.

Betty:    “Uh, yeah.  My name is Betty and…Does my butt look big in this hospital gown?”

Therapist:   “Um, Betty, we’re not here to talk about our buttocks right now.  Just tell us a little bit about yourself.”

Betty:   “Well, I’m Betty, from Portland and I work as an office manager.  It’s a medical office with about twelve women, seven of who have bigger butts than me.  It used to be six, but Fran Marsinowski put on a lot of weight after she sprained her ankle and couldn’t get rid of her Ho Ho addiction ….

Therapist:   “Okay, moving on.  Next?”

Carol:   “Hi, I’m Carol, I’m from San Diego and I can really relate to Betty.  I feel so close to her right now…and….and…I just want to say… Doctor, whose butt is bigger – mine or Betty’s? “

Therapist:   “Now, Carol in order to heal you have to stop comparing your body with others.  You MUST “own” your buttocks Carol and let Betty own her “own” buttocks, too!  That’s the way to holistic buttock acceptance.”

Margo:  “Okay, well, I’m Margo.  And that was soooooo beautiful. (sigh) I’m from Kansas City, where there are lots of big butts.  It’s the barbecue.  But I know, deep in my heart, that the size of your butt doesn’t matter.  It’s what you do with it that counts….”

Therapist:  “Thank you Margo, we could all learn something from Margo and her buttocks.”

And gentlemen, if you’re reading, please note that there are distinct differences in the phrases, “Does my butt look big?” and “Does this make my butt look big.”  I advise you to practice the answers to these two questions so you can maintain a controlled and safe environment in your home.  The consequences of answering these questions incorrectly could lead to sensory overload of buttock related stimuli and it could even kill your desire to ever look at another butt again.

And ladies, one final warning.  Please beware of “Big Butt Transference.”  This is when the woman projects her anxieties about her butt to the mirror and will blame the reflection in the glass for distorting reality:  

“It’s not my butt, it’s a fat mirror!”  “Big Butt Transference” can be dangerous.   It will cause women to purchase expensive jeans with a false sense of security, only to find that their butts look bigger than ever when they get home from the store. This is why women should never shop for jeans, bathing suits or white pants alone.  If you do, you’re playing with fire. 

Big butt fire.